I feel even more so, weak and lame, this time not at my wanton emotions, or any other such nonsense. I am done with all of it. There exists, extensions of my life people that I love, that they love…What am I to learn, it shall not be that in the end we all loose…it will be different, I will not wish that I had lived my life different, that I had hugged more often, or spoke more sincere to the most precious of people. I will learn only to treasure the ones most dear. I pass an antique store today, and wonder what happened to the lives of the people that owned such beautiful things. A woman who does not belong to me, she is mine by law, and soon not to be, she is sick, I am not privileged to see her, to know her, to give her warmth or love. I love her, and I might never have the opportunity to tell her, but how vain, and selfish a thought. I pray, I forget that I am praying, I feel guilt that I had so easily forgotten. And I pray again. This time more sincere, with all the conjured feelings of unselfishness, and pure hope that the message will be heard, and possibly granted. I cry to her daughter, in a desperate search for answers that do not come, I promise myself that I will help, that I will pray, that I could mean anything to her now. I feel sadness at all of the kisses we missed, I will not repeat this again. no use in sorrow, again i shall pray...